The EWF UnCovered logo fades as the camera pans round the 80,000+ capacity crowd crammed into Wembley Stadium to watch the Extreme Wrestling Foundation’s first ever PPV. Out of all the signs in the audience the ones that stand out include “Just E.Vil Needs Anger Management”, “Fear Da Bomb!”, “Don’t feed the Bear!” and “I’m only holding this sign to piss off the people behind me!”. The EWF Theme music blares out from the PA and the crowd goes mad, the camera pans down to the announcers table.
SM: EWF UnCovered is coming at you live from Wembley Stadium! Good Evening Ladies & Gentlemen I’m Scott Mayo, and this is ‘Font’ McNally.
FM: Hello fans, have we got a great debut PPV for you tonight! The crowd is ready to get things going here Scott.
SM: They sure are, but before we do let me fill you in on what to expect tonight. We have a Triangle match for the Women’s Title, a Cruiserweight Championship Match and our Main Event. A 14 man Royal Rumble for the EWF Heavyweight Belt. But first we have Demon against Tazman in a Hardcore Title Match.
Adrian “Demon” Adams Vs. Tazman (Hardcore Title Match)
Adrian Adams makes his way to the ring along with the President, Alan Galpin. As they enter the ring “Psycho Circus” by Kiss plays over the PA and Tazman appears in the ring entrance-way. Demon waits in the ring while Alan Galpin goes to collect the trolley of “Hardcore Goodies”. He then joins the commentary team.
AG: Good evening ladies and gents, be prepared to witness the crowning of the EWF’s first Hardcore Champion, Adrian Adams!
Back in the ring referee Trevor Peckham calls for the bell. Demon takes the match to Taz, using power moves to keep the smaller man down. Tazman slips outside and collects a chair from the trolley before returning to the ring. Taz runs for Demon with the chair above his head, only to be met by a big boot from Demon. The match moves back and forth for a while whilst both men try to gain the upper hand. Demon gets the chair and hits Tazman with it, lays it across his face and heads for the turnbuckle.
SM: Demon’s going for the top rope here, Font.
FM: This could be painful for Tazman.
As Demon launches himself in a Kamikaze Headbutt, Tazman rolls away. The big, masked man falls head first onto the steel chair. Tazman presses his advantage by stomping the head of Demon. He again heads outside and comes back with a table or two. The first gets placed against the turnbuckle, the second gets put up in the center of the ring. As Tazman pulls Demon up he gets hit up side the head by a Singapore Cane which Demon had been handed by Alan Galpin, who had made his way back to ringside. This doesn’t affect Tazman and he plants Demon’s head on the chair by way of a DDT. Demon gets up and again uses the cane, this time to poke Tazman in the stomach, with him now bent over Demon moves for a power bomb onto the table. Tazman manages to back body drop Demon to make the escape. As Demon gets back up Taz tries for a flying head-scissor take-down. Demon catches Tazman in mid air and drops him to the mat with a power bomb. Demon whips Tazman into the table against the turnbuckle, breaking it in to little bits. Tazman landed hard. Demon turns his back and signals to the crowd.
FM: This could be it! It could be all over for Tazman now.
SM: He’s signaling for that Demon Tombstone of his.
As Demon’s back is turned Jason 3:16 runs down to the ring and makes his way over to Tazman.
SM: What the hell is Jason 3:16 doing here? He has nothing to do with this match.
Jason picks up Tazman and performs the 3:16er. He gives him the finger and starts trash talking him. Alan Galpin enters the ring and goes to Jason, who goes to punch the president. But Galpin ducks it and picks the Canadian up onto his shoulders. he walks to the middle of the ring where he drops 3:16 onto the table with a Death Valley Driver.
FM: WOW! A big DVD through a table, that’s gotta hurt!
SM: Alan Galpin didn’t like Jason 3:16 interfering in this match, even though he seemed to be helping Demon.
Meanwhile, Demon had picked up Tazman and climbed the turnbuckle. He turns around and finishes Tazman with his Demon Tombstone. From there it was as easy as 1-2-3.
MB: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner and first EWF Hardcore Champion, Adrian “Demon” Adams!
SM: What a match. It wasn’t the longest fight I’ve ever seen but it had just about everything.
FM: Sure did, Scott. Something tells me that Alan Galpin didn’t like Jason 3:16 coming down to this match-up.
SM: We’ve got to step aside for a commercial break, but don’t go away. When we come back we’ll have an interview with the Commissioner, Sarah Stallard. Commercials run.
SM: Welcome back fans, we go now to ‘Mean’ Gene Underwood in the ring. Take it away Gene.
GU: Thank you Scott. It is my great pleasure to introduce to you at this time the Commissioner of the EWF. Ladies and Gentlemen, “The Greatest Women’s Wrestler Of All Time”, Sarah Stallard.
The crowd cheers as “You Sexy Thing” by Hot Chocolate plays out over the PA system and red and white lights fill the arena. The crowd soon become quieter as no-one comes out.
GU: Well there doesn’t seem to be any sign of Sarah Stallard.
SM: We’re gonna go backstage, there’s a camera back there by her dressing room.
Head of security, Andrew Gray, is seen knocking on Stallard’s dressing room. After a while there is still no reply and Gray opens the door. Sarah is seen flat on the floor, amidst a mess of chairs and other items from the room.
SM: What a shocker fans, Sarah Stallard has been attacked here ahead of her title match a little later this evening.
FM: Who could have done this?
SM: Well surely Vamp or Miss Emma must be top of the list. Especially when you consider what Miss Emma said earlier in the week. We have our second match ready to go now, it’s for the Cruiserweight Title. Pob against Drew Id.
Cruiserweight Title Match
Drew Id makes his way to the ring accompanied by Father Tommy. “Bring My Family Back” by Faithless plays over the PA. As the two enter the ring the lights change to red and white and Robbie Williams’ “Let Me Entertain You” is heard all around the stadium. Pob makes his way to ringside. Referee Lee Roberts calls for the bell and the match starts. Drew Id took the match to Pob, taking him down with a flying head-scissors maneuver. Drew stomped on Pob while he was down and followed up with a leg drop.
SM: Drew Id is really taking this match to Pob.
FM: If he keeps this up it’ll be over really quickly.
Drew Id turned his back on Pob and started arguing with some fans. This gave Pob a chance to regain some energy and when Drew Id turned back he was met with a drop-kick from Pob. From there Pob kept on the attack and hit Drew with everything he had, including a top class hurricanranna. Drew Id staggered outside the ring and Pob followed. Pob chased Drew but Father Tommy tripped him up. Pob fell into the steps and Father Tommy distracted referee Lee Roberts. Drew threw Pob back into the ring and picked up a chair, with the ref still arguing with Father Tommy Drew struck Pob several times with the chair.
FM: I love it! Drew Id is pounding the crap out of Pob!
SM: Not strictly legal but it is effective at beating your opponent.
As Drew insulted the crowd Pob struggled back to his feet and the referee turned round to see Drew holding the chair. He was about to call for the bell when Drew whacked him with it. Pob ran off the ropes and hit Drew with a running drop-kick. Pob picked up Drew and threw him into the corner post. Pob put Drew onto the turnbuckle and looked set to finish the match with his trademark Frankenpoddy. Drew stopped his attempt and tried to powerbomb Pob onto the chair. But Pob reversed the attempt and drilled Drew’s head into the chair. By now a second referee had run to ringside as Pob made the cover. 1….2….NO! Drew kicked out at two and a half.
SM: What a match we have here fans!
FM: What a move that was, Drew’s head hit that chair very hard.
SM: I thought that Pob had it won there.
Both men were exhausted and the referee started the mandatory ten count. Eventually Drew got to his feet and picked up Pob. He scoop slammed him and headed for the top rope. He launched himself and landed on Pob with a frog splash. He hooked Pob’s leg, 1…..2…..NO! Pob was in the ropes. Drew picked up Pob again and whipped him into the ropes. Pob jumped over Drew and pulled him down with a sunset-flip. 1….2….NO! Drew escaped again. Pob got up, pulled up Drew and dropped him back down again with a piledriver. Pob went for the top rope and landed on Drew with a shooting-star-press. He hooked the leg, 1…..2…..3.
MB: Ladies and Gentlemen the EWF’s first Cruiserweight Champion, Pob!
FM: What a match that was, either man could have won that one.
SM: Our first cruiserweight champion has been crowned, it’s Pob. We have to step aside for a break but we’ll be right back. A women’s triangle title match and the royal rumble still to come.
Women’s Title Triangle Match
EWF UnCovered comes back from the commercials and the camera is already and waiting for the third match. The lights fade to a pale blue and Miss Emma walks out, alone, to the ring. Emma is soon followed by Vamp of the Gravediggaz. “Teardrop” by Massive Attack plays out across the stadium and Father Tommy also walks down the ramp. As the lights turn to red and white and “You Sexy Thing” Plays over the PA system the crowd falls silent. Will Sarah Stallard come out? After a short period of time referee Lloyd Collins decides that Sarah isn’t going to make an appearance and so he calls for the bell.
SM: This match is going to start without the commissioner.
FM: Well I think she was taken to the hospital, she couldn’t physically wrestle here tonight.
Vamp started off quickly and took Emma off her feet with a drop-kick, and followed up with a leg-drop. Vamp applied a Boston Crab and Emma reached for the ropes. After a while of reaching Emma finally grabbed the bottom rope and referee Lloyd Collins forced Vamp to break the hold. Emma began to come back into the match and knocked Vamp through the ropes with a drop-kick of her own. While on the outside Father Tommy distracted the referee and Vamp grabbed the belt, which was ready to be handed to the winner. Vamp slid back inside and went to hit Miss Emma with it, she knocked her practically clean out.
FM: Whack! They heard that one in Australia!
SM: Referee Lloyd Collins certainly heard it. He’s turned round but I don’t think he knows what it was.
Vamp threw the belt back outside and applied the Bloodsucker to Miss Emma. Vamp tightened the hold and Lloyd Collins checked Miss Emma’s condition. He raised her arm, once, twice, WAIT! Sarah Stallard had run down to ringside and had hit Vamp with the belt.
SM: Sarah Stallard has made her way to ringside and whacked Vamp with the belt. I don’t even think that Lloyd Collins saw it!
FM: But why? maybe it wasn’t Miss Emma and “The Fed” that beat up Stallard!
SM: Or maybe it was just a big con!
Sarah slipped out of the ring as Vamp’s limp body fell to the floor, being covered by the equally limp body of Miss Emma. The referee started the count, 1….2….3.
MB: Ladies and Gentlemen your first EWF Women’s Champion, from “The Federation”, Miss Emma!
Sarah Stallard grabbed a mic…
SS: Hello there boys and girls! (the crowd boos) I know you’re wondering what I’m doing by helping Miss Emma to win. Well you’re just going to have to wait to find out!
SM: Wow! What could the commissioner have in store for the EWF?
FM: No idea, Scott. I do know that when Vamp comes round she’s no going to be very happy about losing the match.
SM: Stick with us folks, our main event is just round the corner!
SM: Welcome back people, Main Event time! We’ll hand over to Mark Buffwell to introduce the combatants…
14 Man Heavyweight Championship Royal Rumble
MB: Wembley Stadium, London, England! Are you ready? For the thousands in attendance and the millions watching around the world. Ladies and Gentlemen, let’s get ready to royal rumble! This match is a 14 man Over The Top Royal Rumble for the EWF Heavyweight Championship. The last two men must continue in a regular match, submissions and pin-falls the only way to win. Making their way to the ring are the fourteen contestants. After a late rule change by the President, Alan Galpin, all 14 men will start in the ring. The fourteen men are:
Adrian “Demon” Adams
Alan Galpin
Just E.Vil
“The Submission Specialist” Dom Parign
Drew Id
Antikryst
“Mr. Monday Night” Matt Green
Callahan
Da Man
Pob
Dark Druid
Evan “The Polar Bear” DeGreggor
Joey Inferno &
Tazman
All 14 men are in the ring and ready to go. Referees Andrew Woodford, Lee Roberts, Lloyd Collins and Trevor Peckham are on the outside to check when people are thrown out. The bell sounds and the chaos begins! Adrian Adams and Alan Galpin begin by teaming up against Tazman and The UFC went after Callahan. The rest were trading punches between each other. Da Man was making good progress in his mini-match with the smaller Drew Id and it wasn’t long until Drew was gone.
SM: The first to go is Drew Id.
Antikryst noticed that his “servant” was gone and went for Da Man. Meanwhile Galpin and Adams had trapped Tazman in the corner, soon after he too was a goner.
FM: There goes Tazman!
The UFC were not having the same luck with Callahan. The Dubliner was fighting back against the duo and when Dom Parign leapt for Callahan he went flying over the top rope.
FM: And Dom Parign, too! I love this, they’re falling like flies in there!
The duo of Galpin and Adams were now going two-on-two with the Fire ‘N Ice team of Inferno and DeGreggor. Da Man was having a little fun with Antikryst and had him dazed. The Cruiserweight Champion, Pob, was trying to take on the slightly larger Just E.Vil. It wasn’t much of a fight and E.Vil sent Pob out with a suplex over the ropes.
SM: The Cruiserweight Champ is gone, there are 10 men left now.
Callahan was left alone for a while until E.Vil started on him. The two traded big punches and it was obvious that Callahan was struggling. Matt Green came in to help his tag partner and Callahan was up against the ropes, holding on for his life. Galpin whipped Joey Inferno into the ropes and Inferno bounced right into the bundle of E.Vil, Green and Callahan. Matt Green was pushing Callahan at the time and he went over the top.
FM: This is hilarious, I love it when people fall out like that.
SM: Nine men left after Matt Green is eliminated, he didn’t exactly do much in this match.
Demon and DeGreggor had been brawling in the corner while this was going on and neither man was getting the upper hand. Antikryst joined in the brawl and seemed to be helping DeGreggor. The two double-suplexed Demon and then teamed up to throw the Hardcore Champ over the top.
SM: Adrian Adams has been eliminated, teamwork from Antikryst and DeGreggor.
After successfully eliminating Demon, Anti and Evan started on each other. Callahan and Just E.Vil were still going at it and Callahan was taking a beating. Galpin was getting a barrage of punches from Joey Inferno and Galpin left the ring courtesy of a Inferno Hurricanranna over the top rope.
FM: That’s a great move! And the Prez is out of here! 7 down, 7 left!
Joey Inferno then turned his attention to helping his tag partner, Evan DeGreggor. The two managed to eliminate the Gravediggaz leader, Antikryst. At the same time Da Man came back into the match with a double-clothesline which sent both DeGreggor and Inferno out of the ring.
SM: Three men gone at once there, Antikryst put out by Fire ‘N Ice and then they are eliminated by Da Man. Just 4 men left in the ring. Da Man, Callahan, Just E.Vil and Dark Druid.
After some commotion, when the commentary team noticed that Dark Druid was not in the ring, a figure slipped back into the ring from the outside. Druid had left the ring earlier in the match and so he could not be eliminated. He had waited until there were just three others left to make his re-appearance. Maybe he should of waited because as soon as he got in all of the other wrestlers left greeted him with a series of kicks and stomps. Just E.Vil went to suplex him out of the ring and as Dark Druid was hoisted up Da Man and Callahan both drop-kicked Just E.Vil. This caused him not only to drop Dark Druid onto the ropes but he also staggered back into the ropes. Da Man and Callahan both drop-kicked the two men again and they both were sent over the top.
FM: Great work from Da Man and Callahan, now they’re the only two left!
SM: Da Man Vs. Callahan for the EWF Heavyweight Title.
Da Man got the better of Callahan, who had taken the bigger beating during the match, and took him down with a Russian leg-sweep. Da Man used his power advantage to follow up with some more big moves, including a jumping DDT. Callahan was struggling, he tried to put on the Crippler Cross-Face but he wasn’t strong enough, Da Man broke the hold easily. Da Man kicked Callahan in the stomach and lined him up for Da Bomb. Da Man pulled off his move and covered Callahan. Just then Jason 3:16 made another appearance, running down to ringside with Suzie Blaze. He rushed into the ring but it was too late, Da Man had already got the three-count.
MB: Ladies and Gentlemen, the first EWF Heavyweight Champion, DA MAN!
As Da Man held the belt aloft Jason 3:16 attacked him from behind. He flattened the new champ whilst Suzie Blaze un-buttoned her blouse (again).
FM: What the hell is Jason 3:16 doing?
SM: No idea, Font. And we’re going to have to wait until Monday Night to find out! We’re out of time here at UnCovered. For Font McNally this is Scott Mayo saying Good Fight, Goodnight!
The EWF logo appears again and the scene fades. In the background Jason 3:16 is seen now attacking Callahan with the title belt.